I call him this afternoon and he told me his phone died so he wont be able to call me.
So desperate to reach him i just happen to try his old number and see if he turned it on again. Well he did.. I called and he heard my voice and the baby and immidately hung up on me. A few hours later he called saying that im callin his uncles phone and i need to stop but he was the one that answered the call.he starts talkin to me like im one of his friends not his wife.i cant stop lovingNewly wed, New Mommy miserable? Advice?
Wow, that hurts. Reading your story brought back memories from when I knew my wife was cheating on me. Shortly after our daughter was born, my first wife was going out almost every night, leaving me at home with our daughter. This went on for several months, the whole time; my suspicions were being continuously confirmed by her actions. One time the mother of the guy she was with called me on the phone and flat out told me what they were up to. Still I tried everything to hang on to her and overlooked a lot trying to hold our relationship together and get her back. Finally, one day while I was at work she took our daughter and left. I came home to an empty house and a post-it note on the fridge. I was devastated and for the longest time thereafter I was a complete basket-case. I was suicidal in the extreme and even mowed through my own parents and one of my brothers one time trying to get to a gun. My oldest and largest brother was the one who stopped me. I'm not a small person mind you, but running into him was like trying to tackle a Giant Redwood. It wasn't long after that I met my Nancy. Nancy saved my life; she showed me that real love does exist and I never should have played the fool. I should have taken the baby and got the hell out and turned the tables on her. She never really loved me to begin with or she never could have done the things to me that she did and I deserve better.
I know how hard it is to make that choice to end your relationship but for your own well being and for that of your daughter, you need to end it now. You have to think about what is best for your child and it is better being with a strong mommy who can still pick-up the pieces and start over than to stay with someone who clearly doesn't love you and try to hold it together despite the pain you are in. Children sense this and it hurts them to see mommy or daddy in pain. You need to pick up the pieces and find that someone special that your current husband isn't. That person is out there. For me it was my Nancy; she is the most loving, caring, kind, compassionate, passionate soul I have ever met. We are together nearly 7 years now and it still feels new (in every way, if you get my meaning). There is someone like that out there for you. Leave the cheater now and start looking for him now. Once a cheater, always a cheater. For your own sanity, do what I was not strong enough to do. Oh and don't forget to file for tons of child support.Newly wed, New Mommy miserable? Advice?
Best wishes, I know you have a tough road ahead; I've been down it. Keep the faith and ask yourself at every crossroads; is this the best thing for the baby and you will do what is right. God Bless, our prayers are with you.
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It is obvisous that you can do better. If signs of his cheating came up about a year ago and you got married about a year ago ... why did you get married. How can you marry someone who you think is cheating?
You need to find someone that isn't afarid to tell their ex that they are seeing someone else, and that they are pregnant with their child.
Also you do not have great communitaion between the both of you. If you want to make it work , communication is key, and if he doesnt want to work on it, then he is probably cheating on you and you need to find someone to treat you right.
The reason why you're unhappy and can't stop loving this man is because you, like many of the female species, like to correct things, make things right... you don't want it to fail, you don't want him to do the wrong thing......
the reason why you're unhappy is because you can't stand to be continuously disappointed by this man you claim to love. Let him go, let yourself have some peace.... you can't correct things anymore... it doesn't want to be corrected. He's not a man... he's making excuses and telling lies sooo you can't shout at him, so that you will gradually get sick n tired n give up on him...
I know raising a baby on your own is hard work, at least you have your family to support you. He doesn't deserve you, he's ran like a boy who doesn't want to take any responsibility. You have a lot more dignity than that.... come on, he's messing up about.... just leave it, and may be he'll come to his senses... but if you keep pressuring him, he'll only want to ru away more....
learn to be independent, you're a mom now :) a baby depend on you....
unfortunetly it is a real reason for divorce, when one person has been unfaithful. considering that, this man has done a very bad thing to you, against the law in some states even, IF this is what he is doing. dispite your love for this person, they obviously don't love you. you deserve better.
just because you can't stop loving him doesn't mean you can't live without him. you have a wonderful baby girl to take care of and it's hard to take care of kids when you're worrying and obsessing over your husband or soon to be ex. you say he's lied and have caught him sneaking around by turning on his other phone, but telling you his is turned off. he's avoiding you and not treating you with the respect you deserve. worry about you and your daughter first. you deserve better.
This is a toxic relationship!!!! He thinks that he can mess around on you and it is okay. He also thinks that treating you and his child like dirt is okay. WRONNNNNNNNNNNG!!!!!!! You really need to walk down to the court house an file for divorce. The pain of being broken hearted and betrayed will go away. You sound pretty young and believe me, there are plenty of men out there that would love you and your child and maybe even more children. He is philanderous and needs to be casterated. This evening he was with another one of his hookers and that should tell you to be happy that he is gone. You do not want your child growing up in a home lile this. Let him stay in another state. Let him screw whom ever he wants. You have better things to do with your time than mess with that crap. If you stay he will continue because you accept it by not doing anything about it. If you stay with him you are asking for the treatment he gives you .
With all respect,,if you dont listen to your family your probably not going to listen to anyone on here,,He is not a man if hes not taking care of his family...and if you cant see that noone can show you...
Love yourself first, and leave him unless you see that he really has changed.
Wow, hon. I'm sorry you are having such a tough time. I'm in the same situation. I just didn't get married. My ex times I don't know how many times and I were supposed to get married December 15, 2007. Just a few weeks ago. I know he cheated on me years ago. But I'm a forgiver. I believed that well I could love him out of his cheating ways. He proposed to me October 2006 on my birthday and I got pregnant a week later. Again, believing that he's telling me the truth and he's not cheating. All lies. He cheated then and now. He's to into his ';lifestyle'; (the cheating ';lifestyle';) to be the family man I hoped he'd become. I love my knuckle headed ex too. More than he knows but as of July of last year when my baby was born I decided that I wasn't going to take this stuff ';laying down';. I don't want his cheating to cost me to never have more babies, to never really find happiness with a faithful man that loves me or my life (think HIV/AIDS). I know that when we as women love its hard to stop. I have learned you don't have to stop loving him. You just have to love yourself, your baby...and your happiness more.
I hope for you many blessings...much happiness and a beautiful life.
{{{hugs}}}
Happy New Year
I'll be he doesn't talk to his friends the way he talks to you. Stop acting like a doormat and start acting like a human being with some self-respect. How much more time of your life are you going to waste on a cheater and liar? And in a few years' time, is this the example you want to set for your child?
You just want to hear from people who are or have been in your position because you don't want to hear the truth! Your family is 100% right about him and you ignore them because you don't want to hear it. You just want to keep loving a man who obviously does not love you or the child you've had together. Strong signs of his cheating? His ex calling you every day. Him denying you, him denying her. This makes no sense. You've known this man for 6 years and you don't know him at all. You need to see the reality of this relationship and the reality is that you're living in a dream while he's no where to be found. What is there to love about a man who treats you so shamefully?
Oh gosh girl, you don't need advice from any of us. You know what you need to do and it's probably the hardest thing you'll ever have to face but you can't stand for this treatment. Show that beautiful baby girl that you both deserve love AND respect from a man.
LEAVE HIM SOON AND DON';T LOOK BACK
God bless you.
Sometimes family know whats going on.Its time to cut you ties and go through the process.This guy isn't worth it.
If he doesn't back you up and take care of this child he should pay child support.Your just missing what you like about him.Break free from this.
Once he comeshome tell him how you feel.Ask him to try and find a job in the state you live in. If he refuses, wait until he is gone again and file for divorce. I know this will be hard, but you and your child deserve better. Good luck to you.
He has moved on you need to also or you will just be setting yourself up to be his doormat or less. He will have no respect for you at all, if he does now. If you pursue this you need help yourself. Think of your daughter, she needs to learn from you how to be a good decent woman, how can this be healthy for her to see you allowing him to treat you this way. Get out now and count your blessings.
Use your head not your heart to make you decision.
Leave him. No questions about it.
It doesn't matter if you love him, he does not treat you with the respect and caring that you deserve.
You have to make the decision to leave him yourself, and not back down. After you have moved on, you can work on being happy about yourself and find someone better.
Oh, and after you leave him, it will start becoming clear exactly how he treated you. You will go through a phase of hatred, then eventually acceptance.
Most important thing - stand up for yourself and cut him out of your life.
sounds suspicious. i would say he is probably cheating.
dump his asss and take him for everything no matter what dont take him back once a cheater always a cheater
wow where do i start?
I'm not in your position and i have never been married but all i can say is if i was in your position i would, leave him because he is cheating stay with my family for a while and start all over with your baby girl and I'm sure that there is some one out there that will treat you right and love you and your baby girl, he is out there somewhere you will see.
i wish you will and i know you will be a good mother to your baby girl
If you know that he is cheating and he shows no regret or any signs of changing his ways.. Then you should leave him, I knwo that it will be hard, been there my self. But the amazing thing that happens when you do that, YOU REALIZE JUST HOW STRONG YOU ARE. When you realize your own strenght and that you do not need them, it is a great feeling. It doesn't mean that you will no longer want to be with them, but you do not need them. You regain control of your life and your emotions,, very hard at first but oh so very empowering.
Give it a try, it is so worth the effort. and if he does love you, it will only make him want you more.
best of luck
I know you love him but it sounds like he does not love you the same in return.
It will hurt to leave someone you say you love but it seems if you stay with him you will live a life of betrayal and lonliness.
Perhaps if you left him he would wake up to himself? or maybe you would learn that he no longer cares.
The longer you stay with him the more your self esteem will plummet... he is a cheater, a lier and very selfish.
Leave him and allow yourself to find true love with someone who will love you and only you!
It sounds to me like you two need some counseling in order to save your marriage. You are being played with and that is not fair to you or your daughter.
As far as his ex-gf is concerned....I wouldn't even talk with her....you don't owe her a thing!
I had a similar issue but, I was lucky to learn quickly that you don't HAVE to stop loving him but can do so - from a DISTANCE.
ie, leave him and yes, love him from a distance. Leave him and move on with your life and you WILL move on with your life.
Also, you have a baby girl. She deserves a good role model in not only a dad but a mom. She deserves to grow up seeing a happy mom, not a victimized mom who takes crap - because, she will think that she should take it also.
So, for you and for your child, you need to leave him.
Between the ethics and everything else, your emotional, mental and physical health is far too important to risk - you are now a mother and, now a woman who has a responsibility to your child.
Girlll turn on some kicking music like ';New Attitude'; and start packing - get your family or friends involved.
Make a plan.
Don't tell him, just GO.
Leave him a note that says (and not lengthy) simply ';I hope you and I can be friends for the sake of the baby'; and that is ALL.
Keep communication now to a minimum and don't even argue, cry to him or debate - just leave. Clean slate.
Been there done that. Now remarried to a great man, who adopted my two children and life is wonderful and peaceful.
I wish you the courage to make the move, the health to do so through the stress of it all (and it will be stressful) and much peace and happiness after the fact.
You sound like a very intelligent woman. I believe you already know what you need to do.
Everyone deserves to be treated with respect and it does not sound as though your husband is respecting you.
You should ask yourself if you can ever trust him again. Will you ever have inner peace and true happiness with someone who has treated you this way?
I know you are going through alot right now simply dealing with a new born, but if you can't leave this man for yourself maybe you can do it for your daughter.
Do you want you daughter to grow up in a household where she can see this type of behavior from a man who should be her role model?
I don't know if you believe in God, but I suggest speaking to a local minister to give you some free counseling.
Also don't be afraid to reach out to your family for help.
Take Care
my dear life is a hard lesson and i want you to go home to your family often we love people and they are no good this guy probably is out catting around with no responsibility and i would give him the divorce he wants and make sure he pays child support and alimony and somehow you still love him because of your baby girl and what you once had this makes a young girl grow up really fast so my dear dry your tears and get even and fight for you and your baby girl and dont let that guy get away with all of this he doesnt even deserve the title of husband now this is the wisdom of advice you know what you must do.
I am so sorry, you are going through this, and all those pregnancy hormones are making it so much more worse! You need to grieve for what is lost you.. its sad, then you need to get pissed! Your baby girl comes first, and even if he does stay, this is what you will look forward too for the rest of your life! And in 5 years , when , not if, he does it again you will regret wasting 5 years on the dog! And don't let your daughter see her mom get treated like that, she will grow up thinking its OK...If its possible , try to let him be father, he may be that ... but only give him one chance at that...
My mom raised 4 kids on her own, although its hard, with God's help and support, you will make it!
oh my gosh.... im so sorry u are hurting and you really need to get away from this man, but you already know that dont you ? you are the only one who can make you happy. man up and hit the road. the man is playin you for a damn fool. good luck and be strong.
Please don't be scared. I know it's hard, but you need to be smart for your daughter. The right thing to do is to call your parents. Tell them that you made a mistake and that you need help. They will let you come home. File for a divorce, and rely on family while you rebuild your life. I know it's embarrassing, but have yourself checked by a doctor. Let them know that you suspect your husband has been unfaithful. You need to be healthy to care for your child. If you need to talk, please don't hesitate to e-mail me. I know it's a hard thing to do alone.
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